Friday, September 30, 2005

California Love

that's the ringtone that plays when my sister calls me. anyway, my California hippy sister is coming home tonight to visit for a long weekend and i am so happy that i will get to see her!

despite the fact that i constantly torture her for being a vegetarian,* truthfully i appreciate the comic opportunities that her eschewing of meat creates. the vegetarian mocking just never gets old. and she also drives one of those 1/2 electrical cars.

i used to make fun of it, as did my brother who claims "it runs on smiles and good vibes" or something like that, but i have recently become truly jealous since it now costs about a $1,000,000 to fill up my gas guzzling car. even though the Prius a) has a gear shift that's very similar to an old Atari joystick (in that it returns to the center position even while it's engaged in another gear)

and B) has a Power button, not dissimilar to my computer's "on" button, rather than an ignition operated by a key that turns, this car would save me mucho dinero. i wonder if this is truly ironic, or Alanis Morrissette ironic. either way, the hippy wins. damn tree-huggers!

* somehow, with great luck, i managed to fall for a guy whose brother is not only a vegetarian, but vegan. only he can understand the great pain i have suffered to be denied my second meat option at holidays, only to have it replaced with tofurkey or some such invented foodstuff. PETA may think T's brother was a candidate for "Sexiest Vegetarian" in 2004 but i contend that no such category should exist!

Tuesday, September 27, 2005

T hits the big time

finally Thurston gets a Gawker nod. sort of.
alas, the mention refers to the saddest moment in recent T times.
poor, poor Thurston.

i fear that this Chad Pennington injury may crush T even more than his 0-3 fantasy football record this season. but at least our weekend went well.
Saturday was a 1st birthday party (our second this month) and then a matinee of Spamalot with my family.

the show was hysterically funny. i had heard this from an ahead-of-the-curve friend who prefers not to be mentioned on this blog. suffice it to say, he was on point and the show ruled. earlybird dinner was at Bravo Gianni, which is super old school Italian. as i am now on WeightWatchers, i did not partake of everything i would have liked to eat, but i still managed to have a nice dinner.

then Sunday was the Race for the Cure. which i won* for the second year in a row. our shirts were awesome this year, thanks to Ivona's awesome design:

(l. front, r. back)
this is me before the Race, not realizing which camera i was meant to look at:

after the Race i looked tired. but i don't have that picture yet.

* this means i did not give up halfway through. which, believe you me, i wanted to do! not because i was tired, but because walking is pretty boring. it takes a long time. i prefer watching television.

Wednesday, September 21, 2005

man's best friend
well, Thurston's best friend anyway...
i just received the following email from T:
"here is something to blog about......can we get one for Pickles?"
Pickles a/k/a Mr. Pickles né Winston is our giant cat. he is also T's favorite.

they spend a fair amount of time together, especially when i am watching Rock Star: INXS or some such reality show and ignoring both of them. it should be known that i'm allergic to Winston. and, as a result, have considered finding him a new home (maybe even with his other BFF, the Bean). but T says that "if Pickles goes, i go." so despite my sneezing, i keep the furry guy around.
now if you were wondering what T wanted to get for "Pickles" (which is T's invented name for the cat) it was either one of the two items pictured below:

Thurston is a scary, scary man!

Tuesday, September 20, 2005

cool rider

when my sister and i were little, we used to grab the nearest water cooler bottle so we could re-enact the awesome Stephanie Zinone rendition of Cool Rider.
sure, Michelle Pfeiffer had a ladder to climb up on, but we had Poland Spring bottle to climb over and belt out: if it ta-a-a-kes forever, then i'll wa-a-a-it forever...
well, all the childhood days i spent glued to Grease 2 were not for naught!

my viewing prowess paid off tonight. and how!
i met the one, the only, Peter Frechette a/k/a Louis DiMucci-- the would-be deflowerer of Pink Lady Sharon. ah, "Let's Do It for Our Country" was a favorite song of mine. it really brought patriotism to the forefront.

yes, T and i went to see Cause Celeb* the very funny brainchild of our friend Nancy and her colleague Charlotte. last night was themed Porno/Politico, and Peter Frechette read from the ever-inspiring autobiography of Arnold Schwarzenegger, with the monotone Austrian accent and all. after the show, Nancy introduced me to him, whereupon i'm sure i traumatized this fellow with my unbridled enthusiasm for his work in Grease 2. (especially in light of the fact that he's starred on Broadway and won an Emmy and a Tony award in the interim.)
i called my sister immediately after and, happily, she was as excited about this encounter as i. T was utterly confused but, hey, life with me requires that he be confused a fair percentage of the time.

*you can catch it next Monday night at The Cutting Room. i highly recommend this show. very raunchy but you all can handle that, i'm sure! (in this version they read from autobiographies of Jerry Butler and Jack Wrangler, as well as Gennifer Flowers, Barbara Bush, and others)

Monday, September 19, 2005

a laminating machine

that's right, i am one, y'all. mostly because T and i picked up the following this weekend:

for those of you unfamiliar with laminators (which i'm guessing is, oh, all of you) this baby goes from 0 to laminate in approximately 300 seconds. recipe cards have met their match. (and, yes, i bought this primarily to laminate recipe cards.)

Friday, September 16, 2005

Ponchos? Ponchos? We don't need no stinking ponchos!

this is a photo of the poncho i purchased prior to the show. it is awesome and reversible (to yellow). i cannot wait to wear it. it is so big i could actually live in it. ah, home sweet poncho.

T just sent me the set list from last night's Rolling Stones show.

09/15/05 (Thu) Giants Stadium - East Rutherford, NJ

Set 1: Start Me Up,
You Got Me Rocking, Shattered, Tumbling Dice, Rough Justice, Ruby Tuesday, Doo Doo Doo Doo, The Night Time is the Right Time (Ray Charles cover), The Worst, Infamy, Miss You, Oh No Not You Again, She's So Cold, Honky Tonk Women, Out of Control, Sympathy for the Devil, Jumping Jack Flash, Brown Sugar, Satisfaction
Encore: You Can't Always Get What You Want, It's Only Rock and Roll

despite my initial anxiety about going to a Giants Stadium show in what was sure to be rain, i had a great time at the concert. and not even mostly because it didn't rain. (but my mood was definitely helped by the lack of precipitation. unsurprisingly, i get pretty grumpy in the rain.) i mostly had fun because the Stones rocked. even though Keith Richards face looks like an old shoe and Mick Jagger really ought to retire the lycra blend trousers. that aside, a great night! seeing T overjoyed to be there didn't hurt either.

however, i will say that the Port Authority Bus Terminal may be the most miserable place on earth. it really is horrible. and i now have newfound and untold sympathy for my friends who have to commute to the city from NJ. the wonderful smell of fake butter emanating from Auntie Anne's only makes the suckitude that much worse by comparison.

i do not, however, have sympathy for the jackasses who tried to cut in front of T and i, after we waited on a line that snaked back and forth through the PA's "Area X" for 25 minutes. i gave them hard looks and did not let them ahead of me. no luck for cutters! although my fear of an angry knifing prevented me from directly sharing my thoughts on line-cutting with the line-cutters themselves, i did go as far as to share my thoughts about such "trash" with T loud enough so they can hear. yeah, that'll show 'em. (ok, i am not tough.)

at this point we wished we had my cousin's gf with us. this girl was regaling us with stories of ass-kicking the likes of which i have never heard. at least one of them concluded with "so i woke up in the bushes with a concussion from getting hit with a rock after the three girls jumped me. but THANK GAWD i did not have a black eye. i do not even want to THINK about what would have happened then."* alas, we were with T's brother only, who actually became separated from us by allowing the cutters in front of him. weak!

* apparently, to some a concussion is preferable to a black eye. i'm not familiar with this logic. i just try to avoid situations where i might get hit.

Wednesday, September 14, 2005

Start Me Up

yeah, so i've been MIA this last week. work's become a lot more busy now that my boss has returned from vacation. also, things have been b o r i n g 'round these parts. no drama to report. and everyone knows how much i do love the drama. tomorrow night ought to bring some.

that's because Thurston and i are going to see the Rolling Stones at Giants Stadium. i am even missing a co-op board meeting to do so. (and i'm on the all important uniform committee and everything. i mean, doorman uniforms are clearly what hold the building together, obvs.) i am also missing a Hurricane Fundraiser, thrown by Lillers' alma mater, which features the ever funky, Funky Meters. but i will not be missing the Stones. even if T's brother and his gf are late (see delayed departure time to Tarrytown). that's because this bitch waits for no one. i am heading to the stadium in time to be comfortably seated when the first song begins. (that's right, i sit during concerts. hell, no one's paying me to put on a show. and, as i have mentioned many times before, i'm lazy, yo.)

i am also excited for upcoming weekend plans. T has not, to his knowledge, been to San Gennaro's Feast. last time i went i complained to various community agencies about a woman in the freak show. she appeared to be mentally challenged and was kept on a pedestal (from which she could not possibly alight, as she was the "World's Smallest Woman"). there were flies buzzing around her and she appeared to neither speak English, nor be aware of her situation. it was really exploitative.* anyway, i hope that she is not there this year or else i will be upset again.

* i'm usually all for the exploitation but this really took it to an upsetting level. even Porno Adam was distressed by it.

Tuesday, September 06, 2005

R.I.P., Little Buddy

Bob Denver, whose portrayal of goofy first mate Gilligan on the 1960s television show “Gilligan’s Island,” made him an iconic figure to generations of TV viewers, has died, his agent confirmed Tuesday. [via MSNBC]

Saturday, September 03, 2005

not the place, not the time

last night was dinner with the Bean, Ivona and Lucy.*
dinner on our terms was not to be had. despite my confidence that we'd be able to grab a garden or sidewalk table at an inexpensive restaurant without much drama since "it's Labor Day weekend. no one is still in the city," i was dead wrong. however, with some drama (read: my lazy, unfed self having to walk around the E. Village), we did end up at Orologio, on 10th and A. although the service was v e r y s l o w, we did land an outdoor table and had a nice time. (the food was good too, although the drinking may have been better.)

i get home to watch the Hurricane Telethon, which i had DVR'd and amongst the celebrity and corporate support, Kanye West decided to make an inarticulate, uninformed and, moreover, ill-timed "statement." this guy is a first-class jackass. for those of you who "missed" it, i have transcribed it as follows:

Kanye West: ahem. i hate the way they portray us in the media. if you see a black family, it says they're looting, if you see a white family it says they're looking for food.
and you know that it's been 5 days because most of the people are black. and even for me to complain about it, i would be a hypocrite because i've tried to turn away from the t, to the tv because it's too hard to watch. i've even been shopping before even giving a donation, so now i'm calling my business manager right now to see what's, what is the biggest amount i can give.
and, and just to imagine if i was, if i was down there and those are, those are my people down there so anybody out there that wants to do anything that we can help with, with the set up the way America is set up to help the, um, uh the poor, the, the black people, the, uh, the less well-off as slow as possible, i mean this is... Red Cross is doing everything they can we, we already realize a lot of the people that could help are at war right now fighting another way and they, they, they've given them permission to go down and shoot us...

Mike Myers: [awkwardly continuing to read off teleprompter despite Kanye West's outburst.]

Kanye West: George Bush doesn't care about black people.

Mike Myers: [continuing with teleprompter reading] Please call...

[cutaway to Chris Tucker, who is seemingly unprepared to deliver his lines.]

and here i was all prepared to mock Aaron Neville's spandex leopard print top, which was so uncomfortable to look at. but then Kanye West done went and made things even more uncomfortable. wow, Mike Myers looked like he wanted to be anywhere else. i honestly feel as if Kanye West, in his tirade, just went and pissed on the effort the Red Cross was making to help people.

i mean, Kanye West is famous. if he wants to complain about racism and inequality he should do so, but on his own time. not when it will completely detract from a fundraising effort aimed to help the very people for whom he expresses such concern. even worse, he may well have turned off potential donors who would have otherwise given their money to help.

worse still is that, as horribly delivered as his speech was (KW should take some extemporaneous speaking lessons from Thurston, who has many a trophy exhibiting his prowess on the New Jersey High School extemporaneous speaking circuit), it seemed to be somewhat less than impromptu. this wasn't an excited utterance, but this little self-indulgent speech seemed to be planned. and KW truly is the only one this speech indulged. it sure didn't help any hurricane/flood victims. he should have spent less time ranting and more time on the phone with his business manager ("right now"). if i understand him correctly, at the time of his rant, Kanye West had not even made a donation but had been shopping. (i hope he didn't spend too much of his time on the rugby jersey he wore to the show, because that was not cute.)

Kanye West has the means to get "his message" out to the masses. he has a web site and access to the press on his own time. and he really should have used another medium to speak out if he deemed it to be so necessary (again, apparently more pressing than donating money to provide actual help). but, instead, a show aimed to help end people's suffering became a show that helped to promote Kanye West's delusions of eloquence.

* i was free of Thurston, who was at his fantasy football draft in NJ. whereas i had a great pasta with chicken, artichokes and tomatoes, the menu at his event was bacon-themed. now i love bacon as much, or more, than the next person. indeed, my brother and i have had serious discussions about how many toes we'd give up in order to continue eating bacon. (i'm not sure who we think is going to demand our toes in exchange for the right to continue eating bacon, but it has made sense to us). anyway, you've all heard of Pigs in Blankets, the best hors d'oeuvre ever, no? well, the pigs at his draft are bundled in a blanket of bacon, not dough. bacon love notwithstanding, i find this to be somewhat blasphemous. i mean you ought not to mess with this perfection: